Monday, February 10, 2014

The Art Of Self Betterment: Free Yourself: A Manifesto (from Happy Black

Today I'm going to share some points from a book that I am reading for today's theme. It's called:

Free Yourself: A Manifesto for Letting Go of Fear and Living Life on Your Own Terms

You can download it for free here:

Excerpt from the manifesto: Blaming Others for Your Circumstances

I spent so many years of my life being angry about things that other people had done to me. Not so long ago, I was the total opposite of a happy black woman. I was mad as hell. I was mad at my mom. I was mad at my father I felt that if I hadn't been raised by a teen mom or if my biological father had been around to help, my life would have been better somehow. I carried around a lot of resentment about what 'should have been' but wasn't. 

Thankfully, I began to see how unhealthy it was for me to focus so much on the past, something I couldn't change. What I realized was that blame doesn't change anything. Blaming others just gives you a false sense of control over your life. But it doesn't do anything to change it.

Telling Yourself You "Can't": It can be really scary to talk about possibility, even though you know you want to explore new options for your life. A friend, family member or even your coach might suggest something for you to pursue, maybe something that has worked for them or them or someone they know. Right away, wakes up and starts throwing out all these reasons why this path might work for someone else, but its just not possible for YOU. Constantly telling yourself that you"can't" do something prevents you from coming up with ideas that will actually help you reach your goals. 

Instead of constantly focusing on all the reasons why you can't, what if you just sat down and brainstormed how you can?

Sabotaging Your Own Success: Many ladies swear up and down that their ultimate goal is to quit that dead end job so they can finally run their own business. You might be one of them. Yet, every night, instead of working on your dream, you sit in front of the TV to watch "Real Housewives of Atlanta" or waste time on Twitter. 

The result: you end up perpetuating that lie. Then when opportunities do come up, you don't feel ready or prepared to take advantage of them. It becomes a vicious cycle and you never get anything accomplished.

I recently fallen in love with the phrase "stay in your power."  I think I heard it on a teleseminar somewhere  a while ago, and it has stuck with me ever since. For me staying in your power means not letting your fear or any naysayers distract you from using your gifts to fulfill your true purpose. 

Here's what it means to be in your power, plus what that might look like for you in action.

Being in your power means:

Owing your ability to do whatever it is you want to accomplish in your life and business.

What that looks like in action:

Not blaming other people for why you're not getting ahead

Not making lame excuses about not having enough time or money to do what you need to do

Taking the steps needed to achieve the goals you've set for yourself

Being in your power means

Trusting yourself and the choices that are truly made for you, by you.

What that looks like in action:

Not getting caught up in your need for other people's approval

Doing what makes you happy, regardless of what other people say or think about it

Examining all of your choices to see if it's really what YOU want or what someone else wants FOR you.

Being in your power is an amazing path to personal freedom. Staying there means remembering these simple concepts and putting them into action in your life. The ultimate truth is that you are beautiful, powerful (by the permission of Allaah) and free. Everything else is a lie.

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