Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Mom's Circle: Pick a child, any child. Just not my child!


 All praise and thanks belongs to Allaah Lord and Creator of all the worlds. May He bestow His peace and mercy upon the Prophet, his family, his companions, and on all those who follow them in truth until The Last Day.  Aameen

 As salaamu alaykunna ladies ♡

Today is The Mom's Circle here at MP! Glad to have you here *waves*

Here's a short story to get you guys thinking:

Maimoonah knows it all.

Raheem is so well behaved.

Zaire had the best jokes and  the cutest dimples to match.

Every child brought their A+ game to the local talent show.

Every child had something A-M-A-Z-I-N-G to share with the others. When it was time for  Saidah to take the stage, I wanted to die inside!

"Ya Allaah." I cringed inside.

"Pick a child, any child.....just not my child" I slightly pleaded.

A common feeling shared by mothers in the story above. Some of us often compare our child to other children and feel as though our child falls short in comparison.

As a woman, has your husband ever compared you to another woman?

Think about it.

Did your husband ever say to you: "Brother Musa's wife cooks so much better than you."

You probably would have felt like dying, if your husband said this out loud.

Even if he thought it, you would be torn.

Now just would a child feel if you compared him/her to another child?

They probably would feel inadequate, hurt, confused, angry, sadden and have low self-worth.

We go down this child isn't like so-and-so's.

Question: Who set's the bar?

Every child is unique. EVERY child is different. Even in homeschooling, not every child learns the same.

Hey! No two siblings are a like!

When you want to compare your child to the next, think about this:

1. Children develop at a different rate.
 You have some early bloomers, late starters, and steady as you go kiddos.

2. Interest levels in children varies. Maimoonah may love math and excel beyond grade level but Zaire may love reading and science.

3. Recheck and then check again your expectations. Are they realistic?

4. Children are children...enjoy them and their innocence and motivate them to do their best without pressuring them and breaking them.

5. Are you living your dreams through your child?

As mom, I have been through the comparing phase. Comparing your child will put unnecessary pressure on yourself, your loved ones and your child. It's a path that you want to avoid because it  affects everyone and its damaging.

So the next time you are in a situation where you feel the pressure to compare. DON'T!

It will take loads of self control and discipline, but it's a habit you want to keep.

Have any of you ladies been in the hot seat of comparing your kiddos?

Comment below with your ideas on how to stop the comparing madness! 

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