Tuesday, October 07, 2014

The Conversion Diaries: How I embraced Islaam


الحمد لله الرب العالمين خلق الجن و الإنس لعبادته و امرهم بتوحيده و طاعته و اشهد ان لا اله الا الله و اشهد ان محمدا عبده و رسوله, أما بعد:

All praises are for Allah, who has created the Jinn and mankind for His worship and who has commanded them with His Tawheed and His obedience. I testify that none has the right to be worshiped in truth besides Allah, and I further testify that Muhammad صلى الله عليه و سلم is His slave and messenger.

As to what proceeds then the best speech is the book of Allah and the best guidance is that of His messenger Muhammad صلى الله عليه و سلم and the worst of affairs are the newly invented matters in this noble religion of Islaam. Every invented matter is a Bidah (Innovation) and every Bidah is a going astray and every going astray leads to the fire of hell.

As salaamu alaikum!

Some people do not know. I wasn't always Muslim. I wasn't even a practicing Christian. I was free...

Yup free - well I wasn't too free. I was living at home- under house rules- no dating- no staying out pass curfew- no friends over- go to school on time all day everyday- and the most common phrase "If you get pregnant you can't live here." lol...........surely my mother never left any room for anyone to get pregnant unless they were just simply rebellious and did not respect her or her rules.

I went to college- it was the most interesting/influential time in my life. In college everyone can dress the way they want- eat lunch outside of school- walk around campus however they want- and teachers did not make sure you were accounted for - if you want a degree- you simply had to go to class. I loved college life! And still I had to follow house rules...........so I still wasn't "free"  in a sense.

College is where I became Muslim. Met Muslims for the first time. I was 18 and enjoying the diversity of college. One day- there was this Muslim in "The Game Room".....this is a place where most college attendees hang out to play video games on campus- socialize, eat, and miss class----- My Christian best friend came to me and said:

Christian Buddy: There's a Muslim in the game room!

Me: Really? I always wanted to debate a Muslim

Why? I DON'T KNOW!!! I saw Malcolm X a lot of times- so I was ready for this guy!

We rushed off to the game room to get it started. As I enter the game room the young kid (16) was holding a book and talking about Islaam.  The book from what I remember was called "The Bible, The Qur'an & Science."

I told this kid that I can prove that Islaam is wrong. That the Qur'aan has contradictions. The kid seemed intrigue by my accusations and told me to prove it.

 I went home - started my research.....

I never knew so many websites were dedicated to spreading untruths about Islaam. And I sure did eat them up and digested them for my weapons against "the kid."

I came to school the next day with my stack of proof!!!! Nope I didn't read it- just clicked print! I was soooooo ready for the showdown lol

Me and all my CB's (Christian Buddies) met before we went to the "showdown" and the head CB- he was the knowingest (I went Dr. Seuss there lol)  of them of all nodded his head in agreement. Everyone had the super smiles on their faces- the super smile? Yeah the one that spreads from ear to ear.

"The kid" sat there - in the game room- waiting....I walked in- place my untruths on the table, he looked at it, just a quick glance of the first page and then said: "Ok"

Ok? Just OK? No falling to the floor trying to repent? Nothing?...............He left with his stack and I declared myself the winner.

I later on found out that "the kid" he knew all of this before- and what I presented him with was nothing new to him.

My sister and I ended up befriending "the kid"....and "the kid" was always reading books. My sister and I are avid book readers. I guess "the kid" picked up on this and kept bringing books and not saying anything about them. He would just stroll into the computer lab when he came to work and leave the book on the table to do something. ----come to find out later this was all a setup lol

My sister and I rushed over and looked at the book.

"The Gospel of Saint Barnabas"....who was this? I then went on to research this person- this book- I started to learn that there were "lost books" in the bible. I consumed myself with research.  My sister and I worked together, read, questioned and started trying to understand Christianity better.

"The Kid" one day ask: "Hey you guys don't eat pork right? I read it's in the bible" My twin (yes I am a twin lol) looked at each other. I had no clue you weren't suppose to eat pork *goes back and research*

I carried my bible proudly, stopped eating pork, and then one day I started to look into "rules" in Christianity.

 I was tired of living life without rules. Why did "the kid" have rules? Why didn't I? He can't eat pork, can't date, gotta pray. I certainly believed I had rules and I was going to show everyone just how much rules Christianity had....

I stopped eating pork; then I found out in the bible that you are suppose to cover your head. I was shocked!!!!! I was shock and I was obedient - Allaah put it in my heart to comply- I wanted rules badly. I had to prove I wasn't living life "carefree."

 Now where in the world am I going to find scarfs to cover my head????? I went to my local beauty supply store with my twin (my partner in research) and we found some scarfs- they were short- but I wasn't Muslim and wasn't trying to look like one!!!!  Now I had my head covered,  stop eating my pork, and carried my bible faithfully, highlighting all the way! I wanted to be a Nun and I was even willing to go all over the world with my dawah! I saw kids from my old high school when I was riding the bus. They laughed at me and called me "Betty X " I told them- I'm trying to be a nun- lol I was proud.

 My twin and I told my mom she had to cover her head- its in the bible and she did it! My twin and I went to the church- we were church hopping- trying to find a church that was on the "haqq" lol!

 The people in the church looked at me and my twin funny.

Even my CB that told me about the Muslim in the game room was covering her head now and her mother thought it was strange as well!

The Pastor tells me and my twin to stop by after church and that he wanted to talk. Of course, us both being "Striving Christians" was faithful to the request.

 We went home first and then walked back to the church, leaving my mom at home. So the twin and I strolled into the church, with our head covered and proudly sat in the seat.

Here's how the convo goes:

Pastor So & So- Let me ask you guys a question. Why do you have your head covered?

Me & The Twin- In Corinthians it said to cover your head

Pastor So & So- Oh no....you don't have to do that! Jesus did away with all of that with the new testament

Me & The Twin- *quiet*

One of us- either my sister or myself asked Pastor so & so a question: What's the trinity?

Pastor so & so: The trinity its kinda complicated- it's like an apple- first you have the meat of the apple- the seed and the core of the apple

Me & The Twin- *not pleased* * but listens* (see the twin and i had research the trinity and found out how this apple metaphor was not gonna work)

Pastor So & So: You guys study too much- you need to go out and date

 Needless to say, we left Pastor So & So convinced that dating was not going to save our souls no time soon and never went back to church again

 No church. I couldn't find one with the twin and mother that we all were comfortable with.

Walking around campus the students were asking questions to the faculty?

 "We have Nuns here?" lol!!!

My head covering was something I was really proud of and now it was time to change my whole entire dress. But I couldn't find a place that sold long dresses.....*the kid* he says:  "I know a place where you can find some long dresses."

 And the twin and I jumped on it!

 We went to a Muslim clothing store. The Muslims gave us the greeting: "We aren't Muslims" was our reply. They were confused and kind lol! We looked at their selections and purchase clothes that looked close to monks as possible lol!!!  At that time in our life we was not trying to associate ourselves with anything "Muslim-ish" lol. 

They were abayaas with hoods attached and we got them in navy blue, black, brown, green and white, with hoods. Big hoods to cover your head with!

We wore them to school and we liked them. "The kid" even said he would wear his thobe so that we didn't feel alone.....awesome!!!! And he did. May Allaah reward him with good in this life and the next Aameen. The college kids made fun of him but he didn't care.

 I was traveling back and forth by bus and man the people let me have it! They was talking about my head covering and then one day I went underground to catch the "metro" to where ever and ran into a older Muslim.

He gives the greeting and I tell him: "I'm not Muslim." This brother seemed so caught off guard- like how can you not be Muslim, looking like that? He gives me a book by the brother Ahmed Deedat (May Allaah have mercy upon him Aameen)

It was called: Prophet Muhammad the Natural Successor to Christ.

I take the book and headed home. I start reading and it says of a prophecy :

“And he saw a chariot with two horsemen, a rider upon a donkey, and a rider upon a camel: and he beheld them diligently with much heed.” (Isaiah 21:7)

Who was that Prophet? I was nervous. 

I read another book "Christianity seen in the bible" ....this was everything Muslims were doing and Christians weren't doing.

My sister and I were amazed. From the very book we took from- it was leading us to Islaam

There was so much going on behind the scenes- this story is as condense as I could get it lol and to give you guys full details would be a hardship- so I'm recalling moments that were major in my life.


Done trying to convert "the kid." I was gonna focus on my own soul now. I finally could accept "the kid" wasn't gonna be Christian no time soon and I put all my energy into learning about Christianity.  Still carrying my bible with my twin beside me- we focused on trying to fix the problems that filled Christianity.  No more pork, no more hair showing, and no more trinity. We were Unitarian Christians. 

We went to the Christian club and a guy saw my twin and I walking the campus and invited us to library to start a club, we went in there and he showed us a tape.

 It was Pastor Gino Jennings of Philly (I believe). I was amazed!!! Everyone in the church, the women, looked like me and my twin. It was nice to feel like you weren't alone.

 We left that day and headed home just to get a call from *the kid* that would change our lives forever.

*The kid* calls and tells us that his mother was going to a fundraiser for a local masjid. I guess she figured if we went *the kid* would want to go and we told the kid we would go. It wasn't a problem.  As the twin and I proceed out, we told our mother that we were going out with *the kid* and his family and she said: "Don't let them make you Muslims!" and we said: "We wont! We don't want to be Muslim!" and headed out the door. *The kid* and his mother and his whole family drove us to the masjid. We sat there and Muslims kept greeting us and I think this time we replied (in kindness).

Soon it was time to pray. We were told by the family to wait. We watch as the men rushed to their place to pray and the women. We stood there. By ourselves.....the only ones not praying that night.

I swear by Allaah I have no clue how this came to be our conclusion- we were together- the twin and I- not praying- waiting.

We looked at each other and one of us said: "How are we going to tell mom?"

 We went home. 

I tried to wait being Muslim out. I was scared and didn't want to feel like I gave up on Christianity. I didn't want to end my relationship with my bible.

I remember the Muslims that we befriended along the way and they were sweet May Allaah bless them with good in this life and the next Aameen.

 All my non-muslim friends were long gone- no more CB's- just my Muslim friends that I made along the way.

 They urged us to take our shahadah, without delay. One said: "You never know, one day you could get hit by a cookie truck!" (May Allaah forbid that from happening Aameen!)

 One day we met outside with "the kid", we needed witnesses and they seemed like that day my witness just appeared out of nowhere..........my Muslim friends, the ones who was there from the beginning , middle, and end...........they was my twin and I witnesses.

............right hand............index finger

"The kid" said repeat after me................


  1. Allahu Akbar!!!! This recollection put a much needed smile on my face. May Allah keep you and family upon guidance and truth Ameen!

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  3. assalaamu alaiki sis. this post is so funny and visual. i totally see you and Ameerah in this post. I love you all for the sake of Allaah and jazakaAllaahu khaira for sharing. may Allaah bless you and your family and guide us all on the haqq. wasalaam

  4. Ma Shaa Allah, beautiful story, may Allah continue to preserve you ameen

  5. oh maa shaa Allaah ukhti. Baaraka Allaahu feeki for sharing!

  6. Bismillaah

    Wa alaiki salaam

    Ma shaa Allaah thanks ladies for the kind words, support Wa feekum Baraka Allaahu

    Aameen to the du'aas


    You ladies are awesome May Allaah bless you all with good in this life and the next Aameen

  7. Djazzaki Allah alkhair ukhti for sharing may Allah grand you and your sister paradise ameen

  8. Jazakallahu khairn for sharing this .
    I loved it , love your style of writing and loved what happened of course :D

    Coffee break ;)


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